The Slap Heard Round The World - S03E12

On this week’s show Kristin and I are digging into the Oscars slap, how everyone involved handled the incident, what could have fueled it, the different points of view, and what happens next.

This is our last episode of Season 3!
We will be back in 2 weeks for Season 4!

Kristin's Website
Ralph's Linktree

Send us your questions! We may tackle yours in an upcoming episode!
heyletmeaskyousomething@gmail.com

DISCALIMER:
The views expressed on the Hey Let Me Ask You Something Podcast are solely the opinions of your hosts Kristin Wood and Ralph Andracchio and are based on their years of practical and clinical experience. These opinions do not constitute any kind of advice, diagnosis, or treatment of any mental, physical, or emotional issues. If you are having an emergency or any serious ongoing situations please contact your local hospital or a trusted professional.

Transcript

The Hey Let Me Ask You Something Podcast
Season 03
Episode 12
The Slap Heard Round The World

[MUSIC INTRO PLAYS]

Ralph Andracchio  
Hey y'all time for your favorite part of the week! Listening to The Hey Let Me Ask You Something Podcast, the show dedicated to inspiring more people to ask more questions and have more interesting conversations. On this week's show. Kristin and I are digging into the slap heard around the world and exploring all the different angles on what happened and what happens next.

Kristin Wood  
I was impressed with how Chris Rock reacted and handled the situation. I think that he handled the situation well and I think that is a really good example of how to react when somebody is being violent, or is somewhat out of control, which I'll say that probably characterizes what happened is just to react with calmness and poise the best you can which is very hard. And I think he did that well. 

Ralph Andracchio  
I don't think women need my help defending them from a joke. They there are writers that come up with this stuff and help the people say what they're saying. So whoever wrote that joke, has a lot of explaining to do because it was just objectively from a from a comedians point of view, a terrible joke. 

Ralph Andracchio  
The best way for you to help us inspire more conversations and easily find more of our killer content is to hit that subscribe button and share the show with your friends. And check us out on YouTube if you want to see us as well as hear us. And remember, we love that you're listening but this show is for entertainment. We are not your therapist or your coach. We are not providing professional advice either from us or our guests. Give the full disclaimer in the show notes at once over for more info on that. All right, my friends. Let's start this conversation.

Kristin Wood  
Sit back and relax 

Ralph Andracchio  
Sit back, relax. Strap on your seatbelt.

Kristin Wood  
You have me saying that now in sessions. When they're like I got a lot today. I'm like I put my seatbelt on. 

Ralph Andracchio  
I put my seatbelt on ready, sit back and relax. Is the video a little too high? No, I think it's fine.

Kristin Wood  
I mean, my legs are more present than usual but that's okay.

Ralph Andracchio  
Suck my gut in. Oh boy. The the thing came off the pool. You were just saying 

Kristin Wood  
Yes. I know. Everyone's probably bored with me and my obsession with the pool and the sun but...

Ralph Andracchio  
I'm not 

Kristin Wood  
I got highly excited the other day when I happen to look out the window which I do several times a day and saw that the cover was off the pool and the chairs are out.

Ralph Andracchio  
That can only mean one thing... Springtime

Kristin Wood  
Pool's opening soon and the thing that's awesome is they don't open and close according to dates, usually around here it's about the weather. So the weather can be good and be really warm in the beginning of May by mid May. It could be up and running.

Ralph Andracchio  
That's that's soon. 

Kristin Wood  
I know I can't wait. 

Ralph Andracchio  
That's a lot I yeah we're we haven't we haven't thought about opening up our our hot tub yet but

Kristin Wood  
And the plants you've waited a little bit it's been wacky right? 

Ralph Andracchio  
God I'm so I was ready to do it last weekend but it kept freezing. So yeah, I'm ready to do it this weekend.

Kristin Wood  
And then we had that weird snow sun thing the other day. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Squalls. There were squalls. 

Kristin Wood  
With the sun out. I was. I was in my place about to go run an errand and look outside. It's kind of dark and it's squalling or whatever. And then I don't think that's the word but there's a squall. And then I put my coat on I'm like whatever I have to get this done. I go downstairs 11 floors down. I'm going towards the door. The sun is out. Still snowing a little bit and I'm like, okay.

Ralph Andracchio  
Man, somebody broke the weather machine cuz it's been crazy in Philadelphia. So I want to kind of jump right into what we're talking about today because we are - this is the first time that we've seen each other since Sunday. Well since last week when we when we did the show, but Sunday was the Oscars.

Kristin Wood  
Oh, you said we saw each other since Sunday.

Ralph Andracchio  
Well I we haven't seen each other since Wednesday but Sunday since the Oscars happen. And all anybody can talk about is that freakin slap. So we as soon as... 

Kristin Wood  
Let's do this and then we'll have that to talk about. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Don't hit me. We we as soon as we saw each other today started talking about it, and everybody's talking about it. So I feel like it's something we can unpack.

Kristin Wood  
Yeah, like you said there's a lot in what happened from our perspectives. It has to touches on a lot of stuff we've discussed. The things that is relevant things that are relevant to what we do.

Ralph Andracchio  
Yes, absolutely.

Kristin Wood  
Of course we have to assess it through that lens too. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Right. There's like 20 different layers to this whole thing. So I want to I want to try to unpack it just from our perspectives as human beings but also as a therapist and a coach and like this show in general of asking interesting questions. I mean, having interesting conversations, I think there's a lot here to have a really interesting conversation about because there's so much that is like this incident touches on so 

Kristin Wood  
Yeah, and the question is not Hey, did Will Smith slap Chris Rock

Ralph Andracchio  
Hey did that really happen? Yes, yes it did. 

Kristin Wood  
Yes. We all saw it numerous times. 

Ralph Andracchio  
I think. I think it's important to first of all, give credit to everything that happened beyond that in the show because a lot of great things happened on the ceremony like the first queer Latina won an Oscar. Coda was the first hearing impaired movie to win. Deaf actor won an award. Dune won all kinds of awards because it was such a pretty movie. There was a lot of different like representation... Questlove won an award for his documentary did Summer of soul. 

Kristin Wood  
Yeah Philadelphia 

Ralph Andracchio  
Right? Billy Eilish want to reward for a James Bond song which happens every year, but it was a good song. I liked Billy Eilish. But it was such a great show. And there were oh and Jane Campion one female director, which I think that was like just the third time in the whole history of the Oscars that a woman one best director.

Kristin Wood  
You know everything I didn't watch it. I just watched the slap.  I never heard of half the movies that won.

Ralph Andracchio  
Well, people are bringing up very good points of everybody's focused on this one incident when there were so many other amazing things that happened that night. So I wanted to start off the conversation by saying, let's not let this one incident overshadow all of the amazing things that happened that night and all the representation that happened and all the great speeches, like there were some truly nice wonderful things that happened. So I want to get that out of the way in the beginning, but then we do have to talk about what the heck happened. The slap oh my god, I mean, my God, there's so many things... where should we even start? 

Kristin Wood  
I don't know, I was very shocked.

Ralph Andracchio  
Right? And I think it's also important to say as two white people. I can only speak from my point of view about what I saw how I felt like the things I've heard other people say and the things I think kind of feed into it or what it like different levels that represents you know, conversation wise culturally all that kind of stuff. So I'm and I know you as well are going to stick to our lane in terms of like, commenting on any like race specific things. 

Kristin Wood  
Sure. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah. I don't know where do you feel like where's your brain want to start with all of it?

Kristin Wood  
Who won? No, I'm kidding. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Well, America won, I think.

Kristin Wood  
I guess I don't know why I'm starting here. But uh, I think there should be a I did not watch the whole Oscars. I'm going to preface. 

Ralph Andracchio  
I did not watch at all, yeah. 

Kristin Wood  
I just saw the clip. So I don't know what happened after the clip, I guess I should say, but I was impressed with how Chris Rock reacted and handled the situation. I was. I was a little flabbergasted at that too. Because I thought he did it so well. And knew what to say to deescalate didn't keep going back and forth too long. So I think he handled the situation I'm gonna I'm not like giving him, throwing him a whole bunch of bones. But I think that he handled the situation well, and I think that is a really good example of how to react when somebody is being violent, or is somewhat out of control, which I would say that probably characterizes what happened is just to react with calmness and poise the best you can which is very hard. And I think he did that. Well. 

Ralph Andracchio  
I agree, yeah. 

Kristin Wood  
I don't know if that's worth saying, but I will say it.

Ralph Andracchio  
1,000% I think it's something that I haven't heard a lot but as a valid point of the way he handled it and like you said de escalated because he could have went all in too and I could have turned into something a lot worse. I think it showed Chris Rock's professionalism, his experience on stage and not for nothing but probably his time as a comic 

Kristin Wood  
And an actor.

Ralph Andracchio  
And an actor, you know, handling

Kristin Wood  
Oscar for that. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Right? Yeah, Lifetime Achievement Award. But I mean comics specifically when you're on stage telling jokes. I think you you build up a tough skin but also work your muscles and how to handle people like that. So I think that speaks to his experience as a professional. And you're right like the way he did de escalated the situation. I think was was like a masterclass in, you know, literally the eyes of the world are on you. And you handled yourself amazingly so, well done Chris Rock. I know Chris Rock doesn't need to hear this from us. I know he listens but Chris Rock well done. 

Kristin Wood  
That was well done. Leaving it at that. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Well done, leaving it at that. Um also starting a step back from that. Whoever wrote that joke, because I know they have writers on the show. All award shows have writers. So the people that are like riffing and stuff, they don't just come up with it on the spot. There are people in a writers room or in writers chairs I've worked on enough award shows to know they there are writers that come up with this stuff and help the people say what they're saying. So whoever wrote that joke, has a lot of explaining to do because it was just objectively from from a comedians point of view, a terrible joke.

Kristin Wood  
Yes. And let me ask a question real fast as you've been on these, all these award shows, I would guess so maybe you don't know I'm not sure but that they get - they can say yea or nay to the jokes that are presented to them? 

Ralph Andracchio  
Yes. 

Kristin Wood  
Okay.

Ralph Andracchio  
They do have a little leeway in that especially in the moment like it's very hectic backstage and an award show. So if somebody is presenting and you know, the writers want them to say something at some point, somebody can say no, I'm not gonna say that.

Kristin Wood  
Well, he clearly still didn't think anything much of it in the immediate reaction because he was like, it was just a joke kind of thing. Maybe he feels differently now. But I think that especially coming at look I can imagine it's tough for comedians with being funny and doing what comedians do and not going stepping over the line. But I think that directly attacking, I'm sorry it was, a person around I guess was called a disability or a medical condition. When you know, that it's a medical condition. She if she had just shaved her head for fashion sense. It might have been a funny joke, but it's public. She's been public about what's going on and I can't ever say the word right... allpollicia,

Ralph Andracchio  
Alopecia 

Kristin Wood  
Alopecia. I have a problem with that word. But 

Ralph Andracchio  
I'm here to help.

Kristin Wood  
Yeah, thank you. I thought was a bad joke. And it was it was not kind. And I think he was wrong in that sense. Period.

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I mean, the other comedians and people who work in comedy may disagree with me, but there's a rule of not punching down. And you know, because it's never funny. Because the people it's just people in power or that have power making fun of people that don't have power. And that's not funny. It's just it's just a jerk move. And so that's why for me, the joke wasn't funny. Like, don't punch down. There's other. There's other ways you can have fun with. I mean, she's Jada Pinkett Smith. Like she was in... what's that movie she was in? Man. It was like an old 80's like she's been in literally a ton of movies. They weighed them. Its ton she's been in a ton of movies. But there's there's a million other things you can rib Jada Pinkett Smith about like, just stay away from Alopecia.

Kristin Wood  
She struggles with something she's likely insecure about. It's not cool to come right at somebody like that directly in front of millions of people. So bad joke, just not not a good joke.

Ralph Andracchio  
Right. So, yeah, and that brings up the point of, you know, not making fun of people's disabilities but also it's a woman. It's a black woman and you're making fun of black woman's hair. Like, please don't just let's let's not anymore, you know, we just passed the Crown Act, which is which makes it illegal to discriminate. Which, if you're if you're white like me, you may not know there's a lot of discrimination that happens in the workplace around black women's hair, and I mean black men's hair, but I think more more so for women because they just have a lot more like style and like I'm just.. 

Kristin Wood  
Women more often have longer hair, or locs, or whatever 

Ralph Andracchio  
I'm just jealous because it's it just, it's great. But yeah, so all of that happening with all that happening right now. It was just important taste and bad timing on that front as well. Like just don't make fun of a black woman's hair. Don't touch it. Don't like yeah, just don't. And then and then that leads into some people were saying, Oh, it was really nice to see a husband stand up for his wife and protect his wife. You know, I can only speak from this from a male point. of view. But I don't I don't think women need my help defending them from a joke. You know, I don't know what I would love to hear your take on that on that specific facet.

Kristin Wood  
No, I don't think that women need that. I think in a relationship though. partners do defend one another woman or man I you know, so I don't think it was it's out of the ordinary to be inclined to do so. But I think that like the obvious here, I'll state the obvious the way in which he went about it was absolutely the wrong way. And she also handled herself well in the moment. I don't know what happened after but I just think that I don't know that I feel I don't know I get your point. I'm thinking as I'm talking. I get your point and we don't need you to come in on your horse and you know, fight the war for us. But I think that it's okay to say I think it's natural with your partner. I don't necessarily think that's an unnatural, necessarily an unhealthy thing or a sexist thing or whatever want to call it. But I think there's a time and a place in a way and potentially consulting with your partner about it which she didn't get the chance to do. So there's also that piece which we haven't even talked about or thought of it.

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, like taking some agency away from her to like, have a say in the whole thing.

Kristin Wood  
Taking some agency, right as well as did she have the same intensity of reaction sometimes when we know someone we love is sensitive, insecure, struggling with something we can we can sometimes have a stronger reaction than they can to what's going on in front of us. Now I know she wasn't happy about it because we saw her roll her eyes. That's not usually body language that says like yeah, great joke. But did she you know what I mean? Like I don't know that it was. We don't know how it affected her. She's been a little bit tight lipped. She said a couple nice things, but just been pretty which is fine. That's her prerogative. But yeah, I I'm kind of a little I think it's just whether it's right or wrong. I don't know if I'm being sexist, or whatever. But I just think sometimes we do that and I've done that. With with people before partners is it like, and I'm a woman, if I feel that somebody is disrespecting or hurting somebody that I care about, I've stood up and I haven't slap them in the face on stage in front of millions of people that have you know, I might speak up so I don't think that's that out of the ordinary.

Ralph Andracchio  
No, you're right. And I think about it in terms of my relationship. Like if somebody was making fun of Dan. I would it depends on the time in the place. Like if we were at a backyard barbecue at my house and somebody was laying into Dan about something that he had no control over like God like if he had Alopecia or something and somebody was making bald jokes about him. I would say something. I mean, Dan would definitely say something and push back but I would I would like say listen, it's not it's not funny, you know, and I would have a talk with them. 

Kristin Wood  
So they're, you go 

Ralph Andracchio  
Right. But would I would my first inclination be to get up and punch them or like assault them? No. But again, and especially if it was at an award show, and somebody was poking fun at me or my partner. It's it's joke like it's not nobody had a gun. Nobody was like threatening me with a knife or like anything to drop me off a roof. It was a joke. And so I would if I was very upset about it, I would wait till after and then talk to them afterwards. And talk to them not like go up and tackle them. Talk to them, you know. So I think there's differing degrees of how I would react to something like that.

Kristin Wood  
I also think, and I'm not excusing his behavior, it was very bad behavior, but I think that is also something to be said that you're we're sitting back here. It's not our wife. It's not our situation. It's not our life. And we're calm, cool and collected, at least I think we are and...

Ralph Andracchio  
I'm seething with rage.

Kristin Wood  
And I think he was I don't see triggered as the right word, cuz I don't want to obviously put words into what happened there when I don't... I am not Will Smith clearly. But it definitely seemed like zero to 100 in seconds. And that happens to all of us and I you know it does, but he just he just reacted. And I was telling you beforehand, and I don't know what people care about this or if this is relevant to them, but it spoke a lot to me. When his mother was interviewed, so forget everyone else that was interviewed. His mom obviously knows him better than anyone and I got the sense that she was really a sincere woman. She didn't come off as... Look I want to believe she's from Philly like me, like we're you know, anywho maybe I'm too believable, but she seemed very believable. When she was speaking and she said I have literally never seen my son pop off or whatever word she used something like that. Go off. I think she said like that, ever. His sister said the same thing. So that doesn't excuse a damn thing as far as I'm concerned. But it does speak to that being out of character because what's what's interesting that I've thought about is that we all think at least especially us from Philly we think we know Will Smith, we think we grew up Will Smith. We think he's everything we see. And that shattered that or tested it whatever you want to call it and for me to hear that I thought okay, okay. Like he had a bad bad night. He had a bad moment. And I still think that's a possibility to be true. Because it was just so out of character, everything that we've known, so we've watched him throughout his whole career, and we've never seen that no curse words in any of his rap songs, his whatever his career the way he carries himself. And we like to think that that's real. Right? That's true. So if its mother was being honest, it kind of helped with that whole belief or whatever we want to believe that he like went off off the deep end, and that's very unusual or never happened occurrence. 

Ralph Andracchio  
And I don't want anybody to think that we're trying to like psychoanalyze Will Smith, or like put ourselves in his... 

Kristin Wood  
Well I think I am a little 

Ralph Andracchio  
You have more right to than I do. You're an actual therapist. 

Kristin Wood  
I've been thinking it through. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, no, no, totally. I just want to make sure that nobody's thinking like we're trying to put ourselves in the shoes of... I think we're just you know, as everybody's doing we're Monday, Monday, like Monday morning quarterbacking? Is that what it is when you're like, Yeah, Monday morning quarterback because it's Sunday Night Football, right? Monday Night Football. So Tuesday morning quarterback? 

Kristin Wood  
Do you watch football Ralph? 

Ralph Andracchio  
No. 

Kristin Wood  
Yeah, okay. That was very clear for everybody right there. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Just the Superbowl and just for the ads and the halftime show. So I don't I don't know. But I bad sports analogy aside. I think it's easy to watch the film afterwards. And like opine about what happens. But I think what what we're trying to do is like examine all the angles of what went into what went into that and I and one of them is, you know, there are some people who can find a totally excusable what happened because he was in his right as a husband to defend his wife who has a condition somebody was making fun of her, you know? Yes, multiple things can be true at the same time. That part's true, but also there is a truth in you know, right time and place for things and in the middle of a global award show where literally every country in the world is watching to do that and like it just it it triggered me I don't know about anybody else. But watching that definitely triggered me. And you know, I know there was I'm sure there are people in the audience who were triggered people watching at home so it's like, you're yes, you're you're welcome to take any action you want. But just know that those actions have consequences and a lot of them you can't forsee you know? 

Kristin Wood  
Right, so your feelings are valid Will Smith I'm here to tell you as a renowned therapist from your home town 

Ralph Andracchio  
Reknown Philly therapist 

Kristin Wood  
Yeah, know his feelings are valid. Of course everybody's feelings are their feelings, but you're you're responsible for your behavior, and his behavior was beyond poor. That's an understatement. And I think that what's also I have to admit as much as I really do like Will Smith. He's also so far gotten away with a lot given who he is. I don't know if this is a point to get into. 

Ralph Andracchio  
It's another it's another valid point yeah. 

Kristin Wood  
And it kinda is interesting because if that was somebody that wasn't Will Smith if that was somebody that wasn't famous and was just like at the Oscars. I'm sorry, they would have been immediately removed and likely arrested and or charged, whatever. And he did not have either any of that happen and proceeded to win an Oscar which I was really happy because I wanted him but I love that movie. It's only movie I saw any of the stuff they're talking about and I loved it. I really want him to win that award. Um, but you know, the fact that he carried on like that and then went to the parties and all that. If he wasn't Will Smith, that wouldn't have happened. So there's that I don't know what to really do with it. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Well, I think it's a valid point because the Oscars themselves as an organization. really set this up, set this moment up because the people, people who go to the Oscars actors in general there's a very it's a it's a very bubbled society. You know, having lived in LA for a few years and been in the industry I know they like they're, they're kind of untouched by reality in a lot of ways. And that's why I got frustrated and left is because dealing with people when you are you are firmly in reality with your two feet and you're dealing with somebody who is removed from reality with both of their feet and all of their body parts. It weighs on you it is so you know that happening within that bubble? People didn't know how to handle it. You know, because it's like, what do we do? We're all dressed up we're at this award - we're at the Oscars. This doesn't happen at the what hat what now?

Kristin Wood  
It makes me think if like something like that happened in England with like something with the Queen, somebody busted up and did a slap.

Ralph Andracchio  
Somebody slapped the Queen 

Kristin Wood  
Not necessary the Queen 

Ralph Andracchio  
Cuz that person would be dust that...

Kristin Wood  
Not like her but just something like that. I think I mean, I don't know much about it, but but that's not something they would even like foresee happening so if that happened they'd be like woah.

Ralph Andracchio  
Well also, they have more leeway. Like if somebody tried that in a room where the Queen was, they would be a distant memory. You know, there...

Kristin Wood  
That was... Maybe it was a bad analogy, but I was just thiniing.

Ralph Andracchio  
No, no, it's a good analogy because it's the same kind of like bubble but I think there's more permission in that bubble. Because it's a government thing. Right. But the Oscars I mean, I get it like what do you do with one of the most famous men in the world? When he hauls off and slaps somebody on stage like, what is the consequence? What do we do with that? They just don't know how to handle something like that. And we were talking about repercussions like what can they actually do to Will Smith after that? Nothing really. I mean, what what are they going to do take away his Oscar? No, because like I said before, you know, Harvey Weinstein still has his Oscar, Roman Polanski still has his Oscar and those men did horrible, terrible, atrocious. things and they still have their Oscar so if Will Smith... I don't think this is going to happen but if Will Smith gets his Oscar taken away for this, the Oscars are are done like they're just... 

Kristin Wood  
Yeah, it's not going to happen. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, they're they're hanging on to legitimacy by a thread at this point. 

Kristin Wood  
But I do have a little bit of empathy for the Oscar people Association, whatever there the academy 

Ralph Andracchio  
The Academy, if you will.

Kristin Wood  
Because I think they're in a tough spot of whether they're insulated and no feet in reality or not. They now have a situation and they need or want to make sure it doesn't happen again. And so they need to take some type of stance. And what is that stance right? And you know, my guess my guess and I have no idea it's just going to be a slap on the wrist but I think that there's pressure now to make a I don't want to say example what is the word like to make a strong, strong statement strong move strong move to show we don't tolerate this. But yet going so strong as taking an Oscar, I definitely don't think it's going to happen or kicking him out. Is not I don't think forever is going to happen. I don't know. But I think that that's a difficult situation to be in. Now should they have already been thinking about this? Probably. Yeah. But that's a tough spot. I do kind of feel a little bit for them because, yeah, and they're not the only look. There's lots of institutions and situations that I've had to deal with this kind of thing before. But I'm curious what they'll do, but I don't think they're going to do much. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah. 

Kristin Wood  
And I don't think he sorry, I don't think he needs like I don't look I act like I know him which is really scary right now. But I don't think that he needs a consequence to recognize how bad his behavior was. That's a guess. Total guess don't know the man. But at the same time, how much of how different can you be treated than somebody else? Like?

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, and all - yeah, that's a good point. Because the consequence at this point, wouldn't be for him. It would be for everybody else to say, Don't nobody else try this because you're not going to get away with it, but he got away with it. So I mean, it's not like, they can't really do anything. They can't, it's like it's done. Some people were saying, oh, that's what I was gonna say. Some people were saying that it was all staged.

Kristin Wood  
I don't believe that for a minute. Because no, I read body language and your your comedian so you know

Ralph Andracchio  
I read body language pretty good and, you know, knowing who I know and doing what I do, I that did not look or feel staged in any way. 

Kristin Wood  
No, and I think also there was also speculation that they of course, are bringing stuff back from the past that he said, Chris Rock about Jada from like, whatever. And then people like did he have as he had ongoing beef with him and then this was like, the final straw knows. Either way.

Ralph Andracchio  
There's there's other ways like you said, before we started recording, you know, they wouldn't have put up with this at the VMAs. You know, because they're prepared for...

Kristin Wood  
I'm not gonna mention names of other people that fly off. I mean.

Ralph Andracchio  
for people to climb on stage and do stuff. They're prepared for that because it's that kind of award show. It's that kind of space.

Kristin Wood  
But we're fancier then that that doesn't happen here.

Ralph Andracchio  
The Oscars are fancy.

Kristin Wood  
Fancy or fancy,

Ralph Andracchio  
Right? It's like tomato and tomato. Well, that going along with that they they staged that thing is the Oscars have been losing an audience year over year. It's like 

Kristin Wood  
Cuz they're boring. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Because they're boring. Nobody wants to see it. So a lot of people were thinking oh, they wanted to spice it up a little bit. People were definitely tuning in to see what happened. But I think the Oscars need to rethink what they're doing anyway, I think. I think it's it's a it's a what's what's the phrase? It's like, holding on to something that's gone.

Kristin Wood  
Yeah. Yeah, like that traditional kind of thing. But I do think I didn't see them. I should really watch the Oscars I guess. I love their hosts, all of them. And I thought that the whole Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer, Regina Hall thing was like a great idea. And fun they're funny and like in not rigid. So that's like a good women two black women. Excellent. But yeah, I still think I think the problem the Oscars is no one that no one I know has ever seen the movies. Yeah. I never even heard of them.

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, no, the only... 

Kristin Wood  
It's probably just me being ignorate but. 

Ralph Andracchio  
I think the only one I watched was Dune.

Kristin Wood  
I watched King Richard. I wanted him to win. I loved it. But I watched a little bit of the pre show so I could check the dresses out and the outfits which is always fun to me for I don't know. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, just I just I think that it's I haven't watched the Oscars. I didn't watch last year. I don't think I've watched...

Kristin Wood  
It's so boring after like the the opening act. I wish I saw Beyonce. But that was amazing. But like other than the cool musical performances and a slap no I'm kidding joking joke, but it's just boring.

Ralph Andracchio  
It is and I think it's holding on to something that needs to be revamped. I mean, nobody's been banging down my door asking my opinion about the Oscars. But if they were to, I would say why. Why does it need to be three hours number one?

Kristin Wood  
Yeah, everyone falls asleep. I fell asleep before this all happened. 

Ralph Andracchio  
It could be like it could be an hour long. It can be 60 minutes. Like do what do the important ones. You know, if I won an Oscar, I wouldn't care if it was televised or not. So I mean...

Kristin Wood  
Right because it'd be front and center and you'd show everyone that ever came by your house. Look what I got. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Of course, you know, so I mean, and plus to the it's all it's all like That's why people thank their agents and their managers and their casting and all that. That's, that's why it's there is for people to get their names out there. Nobody's listening, but industry people for that kind of stuff. So Oscars Schmoscars,

Kristin Wood  
But I think I don't know if this is part of it for you. So I don't want to assume but I kind of feel like part of this whole thing was kind of what I said earlier. Have we all had this view of this human as I don't wanna say perfect, like, I can't speak for people but this great guy that did great you know, he handled himself he was well like very well liked and has been in the most I don't want to say past. But it's like the way that we interpret and process this I feel like that. Part of it is we still want to like him and we still want to you know, I don't know, there's like a part of that. Whereas if this was like one of the people that's caused a lot of trouble not mentioning any names, and they had gone off. We would have been like, Oh, and there they go again, right. So I don't know I don't know if that's a relevant piece but I think it's I'm being honest with myself as a big a big fan. That there's an element of that when I look at the situation and how I kind of view it and what I think.

Ralph Andracchio  
Well, sure. I think there's a I think there's a level of forgiveness. Or like room to give him because obviously it was out of character so something must have been happening to make somebody I mean that's that's a big thing. Like to get up on stage at a show like that and and smack somebody for a joke is like, you have to be not in your...

Kristin Wood  
He was livid, You saw him in his seat, he was fired up.

Ralph Andracchio  
But you could be livid and not get up. That's a whole level of livid.

Kristin Wood  
I'm not excusing it.

Ralph Andracchio  
I just think there's something else happening where and we don't know so.

Kristin Wood  
Right, but I feel like it's interesting. I'm gonna be honest about myself. With some celebrities, I seem to be very understanding of that. And then with others, I'm like, No, you're being bananas. Like I seem to find it easier late, like in the past 10-15 years to look at, let's say a young Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber and some of the stuff that's been controversial. People been upset about them like they are young. They are in the spotlight. They haven't even really had a childhood. They are and let's like it's not that crazy what's going on right here. In fact, it's going on on a maybe less money level like money, regular money level, all over the place where people their age, but because of who they are, everything's blown up and they're trying to figure out who they are. And they've been like fairly good at that. I'm like, Okay, Miley had an interesting time. Justin has some pieces. So there's certain people that seem to be good, especially when they're younger, because I feel sad. The fact that they have to be under the spotlight. And then there's other people that are not and then there's Will Smith, who I really genuinely have always liked so there's that.

Ralph Andracchio  
You can still like him. I hope...

Kristin Wood  
I do 

Ralph Andracchio  
Okay, good. 

Kristin Wood  
I do still like him. I think he needed a hug. Amonst other things. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Amongst other things. Well, and then there's there's another there's Can you can look at that from another point of view and say, well, even if you were in the spotlight since you were little, that doesn't excuse not being taught like general manners and morals, you know, and etiquette.

Kristin Wood  
I mean, yeah, but like, I don't know, I look at some of the stuff and I'm like, if I had all that money, I probably do that, too. I don't know. I just...

Ralph Andracchio  
Because there's no consequences. There's no real consequences.

Kristin Wood  
It's not just that there's no consequences is also just developmentally where they are. I think about the stuff I did granted I - it wasn't at the scale of Miley Cyrus or Justin Beiber but like... 

Ralph Andracchio  
Don't seel yourself short

Kristin Wood  
The things I did that nobody knows because thank God I did the most of those things, if not all before cell phones and all that stuff. But everyone's following them around they mess up. They do something they get too drunk or they do whatever and they're right there broadcasts and how messed up they are and like we all did that.

Ralph Andracchio  
But that's the thing. This wasn't like paparazzi catching him on a bad moment. You know what I mean. 

Kristin Wood  
I kind of was went a little off 

Ralph Andracchio  
No, no, I get your point. And I think it's valid. 

Kristin Wood  
My point is I want I would like as a personal growth thing, to work on just being a little more objective and less judgmental, in general, because I like him. It's easy for me to do that. But what if I kind of for whatever reason, don't like whoever... I have somebody in my head. I'm not bringing his name up. It's easier for me like well, he's bonkers. And there he goes again. And so I don't know I just as much as they have so much privilege. And so much money and might not live in reality. I feel bad sometimes because they're people and the paparazzi is up in their grill and every if they make a bad move, or they do something they shouldn't do. It's like all over the world. And I would never make it that. One thing and I'd be like in a mental hospital. It would not go well.

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, Not for everybody. Not for everybody.

Kristin Wood  
Anyway I'm on a tangent. It's totally off topic.

Ralph Andracchio  
No, I That's great. I think there's, I think we're kind of skirting around accountability, too, because I think that's what a lot of people are asking about right now is how and we we touched on it a little bit ago. How is he going to be held accountable. And in this situation, I don't see him being held accountable in any substantial way. I mean, looking at it objectively, it was a slap. He screamed at the guy. It lasted all of a minute. 90 seconds at the most you know everybody apologized to each other. I heard that they're there okay again with each other, so it's like, is there any real lasting harm, substantial lasting harm,

Kristin Wood  
Substantial lasting harm if you want to be dramatic or maybe it's not even dramatic. If you want to look... 

Ralph Andracchio  
I'll be dramatic 

Kristin Wood  
Look at it through a different lens is that you are a public figure. And what the like it or not your a role model. And you weren't a good role model. You weren't and that's it. I mean, when you are in that limelight, which I couldn't ever imagine being in I don't want to, although I'd love to be on GMA promoting our podcast, but you know, I just think how do you always stay on you know, that's, that's also... I feel like I'm defending him I'm gonna - I retract that statement.

Ralph Andracchio  
You can. And I don't want to feel like I'm attacking him. either. Okay,

Kristin Wood  
I just am noticing my own love for Will Smith is definitely part of how I'm processing this whole thing and I need to I'm trying to be more objective.

Ralph Andracchio  
Well that's, I think what you're vocalizing is something that a lot of people out there are feeling is Will Smith is this kind of icon in terms of he's a nice guy. He built his career on being and not you know, this nice conscientious person and artist. And this seemed like way out of character. And so there's a lot of not only disappointment, but kind of shock of like, what happened like if it was anybody else like Betty White. I know she's dead, but like, she could she could throw down

Kristin Wood  
Betty White could probably they'd be like, oh, it's fine. 

Ralph Andracchio  
I wouldn't screw with Betty White. 

Kristin Wood  
Betty White was what 99? She can go slap whoever she wants.

Ralph Andracchio  
Poor, what was it Time Magazine or People or something put out there like happy 100th birthday. And she died a few days after.

Kristin Wood  
Don't even talk right... c'mon now you're making me cry. 

Ralph Andracchio  
That was like a baller move though. That was like the last funny thing she did.

Kristin Wood  
She probably would she probably in her grave thought that was funny.

Ralph Andracchio  
But no, I think there's a lot of like, disappointment and like shock of it's not in this person's nature we thought to do this.

Kristin Wood  
And you know what? I say this now. It will blow over. And he'll be right back in standing with probably most people. Then he I think it's when there's repeated stuff is when people kind of get a bad taste in their mouth about somebody. There's like repeated incidents of violence or bad behavior or whatever you want to call it.

Ralph Andracchio  
I do want to, again, I want to reiterate, there was a lot of other amazing things that happened at those Oscars. A lot of amazing first time winners, a lot of history was made. Go back and look at the list of winners. See the movies. I think that's a great a great place to start. But also, if somebody did see it was triggered and has questions about why they were so triggered and how it affected them or how to kind of shake it off. What would you what would you say to them?

Kristin Wood  
I mean, my guess is if you were triggered, it was probably something around your own experience not feeling safe, or being assaulted or abused. And that if that is something that came up and is not going back down or something that's still very strong, that my advice would be to seek some help about that or to see someone if it came up and it left, then it's probably what it triggered. But most of the time when we're triggered it's because it's setting off something that we went through. Right it's lighting that fire and it can be very intense. So just paying attention to how you're feeling. If it's getting better over time, are you obsessing more than we are about the story? Is that keeping - is that perpetuating the feelings? I think that's what I recommend.

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah. I would echo all those points too. And give yourself I say this all the time there to put on my gravestone, but it's give yourself space like think ask the questions like why did that trigger me? Oh, gee, I wonder what's going on like and if you have somebody to talk to and your circle of friends greats, if you need to consult with a professional great, do what you got to do to take care of yourself.

Kristin Wood  
And I think the other piece I want to mention really fast is don't judge yourself. Don't you know, it'd be very easy to be like, What the heck's wrong with me that I would be so upset about? Something that happened on TV, if you've been traumatized or assaulted or whatever wording you want to use, and you are triggered that is that can be from anywhere, and it's not like you choose it, it just it happens to you and so being kind to self caring for self, is really one of the most important pieces to that

Ralph Andracchio  
And extend that don't judge to other people. If you are talking about this or any other kind of something where everybody has an opinion. Everybody's allowed to have an opinion. So don't judge too harshly. You know, like I said, multiple things can be true with at once about situations like this. So the more we don't judge each other and open up and talk about it and vent about things and ask questions and find connections. That's what this show is about. That's what makes good conversations. That's why we do this. So do all those things and look at everything from a positive point of view. And I don't know if anybody can hear the sirens but thank you Philly for this is our last episode of the season. I was trying to make it nice and...

Kristin Wood  
Well, we're just bringing y'all a part of Philly. I don't even hear it. I don't know if you don't hear it as much as I do. I hear it all the time.

Ralph Andracchio  
This microphone picks everything up. So I'm assuming people are gonna hear all the sirens outside,

Kristin Wood  
We're not in a record studio. Let's just like... 

Ralph Andracchio  
We can't afford... This is this is a shoestring show.

Kristin Wood  
Yep. Secret's out. We are not in a soundproof recording studio.

Ralph Andracchio  
We are not made of money. Well, anybody who's watching the YouTube channel knows we are not a recording studio. Yeah, this is our last show for the season. Season Three... 

Kristin Wood  
Love you friend. 

Ralph Andracchio  
...in the in the can love you too.

Kristin Wood  
Yeah. This has been great.

Ralph Andracchio  
This has been awesome. We're gonna take two two weeks off?

Kristin Wood  
Yes. We're on vacation, we're not really wer'e on vacation from...

Ralph Andracchio  
And then we'll be back with more episodes. More guests. More topics. More questions. If you have questions. we possibly have an answer. I don't know. 

Kristin Wood  
Or we'll tell you what we think. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Or we'll tell you what we think. Send us a question. heyletmeaskyousomething@gmail.com You can find us on all the social medias. We are on YouTube. We are obviously, we are on Facebook. We're on Instagram. And both of us are on LinkedIn and Twitter and Instagram and I'm on TikTok so it's like we have all of our bases covered. So wherever... 

Kristin Wood  
Many aveneus to reach out to us.

Ralph Andracchio  
Many avenues so wherever you are, we probably are. Look us up all that information's in the show notes. That's it. 

Kristin Wood  
We did it.

Ralph Andracchio  
We did it another another season in the can. Season Four is when we start breaking out the weird storylines like somebody is going to have an evil twin. 

Kristin Wood  
Can we wear costumes? 

Ralph Andracchio  
We can wear costumes. We're gonna have pirate day. I'm not going to tell you when

Kristin Wood  
Pizza party where we can just like talk with our mouth full.

Ralph Andracchio  
I've been doing that this whole season. Yeah, so more fun to come. Thanks everybody. As always and we'll...

Kristin Wood  
See you next season.

Ralph Andracchio  
See you next season. Goodnight

Transcribed by https://otter.ai