It's Not Quiet Quitting! It's Self Care! S04E11

On this week’s show Kristin and I are getting our frustrations out about quiet quitting, how it’s not quitting at all and that name is dumb, how it’s really self care, and why you should always advocate for yourself and your mental health.

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DISCALIMER:
The views expressed on the Hey Let Me Ask You Something Podcast are solely the opinions of your hosts Kristin Wood and Ralph Andracchio and are based on their years of practical and clinical experience. These opinions do not constitute any kind of advice, diagnosis, or treatment of any mental, physical, or emotional issues. If you are having an emergency or any serious ongoing situations please contact your local hospital or a trusted professional.

Transcript

The Hey Let Me Ask You Something Podcast
Season 04
Episode 11
It's Not Quiet Quitting! It's Self Care!

[MUSIC INTRO PLAYS]

Ralph Andracchio  
Time to get curious. It's The Hey Let Me Ask You Something Podcast. The show dedicated to inspiring more people to ask more questions and have more interesting conversations. On this week's show, Kristin and I are getting all of our frustrations out about quiet quitting, how it's not quitting at all, and that name is dumb, how it's really self care and why you should always advocate for yourself and your mental health. 

Ralph Andracchio  
When somebody does the bare minimum at work. They do what they were hired. To do for the for the pay, they were hired to be paid. And they don't necessarily go above and beyond

Kristin Wood  
As soon as we want to take care of ourselves or put ourselves maybe our families first there's a negative something to it. You're being selfish, you're being lazy. You're being whatever you're being, and that that a term I think, makes me wanna...

Ralph Andracchio  
Of course, if you're running a business and your business model is dependent on your team members, doing extra work staying longer hours going above and beyond what they were contracted to do for you and going above their pay grade to do stuff, sometimes doing the work of two or three people. You of course, would see that as quitting,

Kristin Wood  
You know, if you go in and you set an expectation that you're going to work way more hours than you are hired to work and you're going to take on extra work and never say no than that's what everyone around you is going to expect you to do.

Ralph Andracchio  
The best way for you to help us inspire more conversations and easily find more great episodes. Hit that subscribe button, share the show with your friends. And check us out on YouTube if you want to see us as well as hear us and remember we love that you're listening but the show is for entertainment. We are not your therapist or your coach. We are not providing professional advice either from us or our guests. Give the full disclaimer in the show notes a once over for more info on that. Alright my friends let's start this conversation.

Ralph Andracchio  
How ya been? 

Kristin Wood  
Been pretty good

Ralph Andracchio  
Good a lot of fun stuff happening for both of us. 

Kristin Wood  
Yeah tons of stuff, 

Ralph Andracchio  
very excited. It's been a very exciting week. We took we took last week off because you know 

Kristin Wood  
Stuff has come up that we haven't been able to... 

Ralph Andracchio  
Stuff's comin' up it's okay. It's good stuff. It's good stuff 

Kristin Wood  
It makes you all miss us 

Ralph Andracchio  
It makes Yeah absence makes the heart grow fonder. And so does eating healthy.

Kristin Wood  
Fat chance doing that. I have Coca Cola.

Ralph Andracchio  
No, yeah, I've been drinking I'm on it. I get on like these weird food benders every once in a while like I'll get really obsessed with something and then I'll eat it so much I get sick of it and I don't want you to for a while. I'm doing that with soda right now. I'm on a soda kick. I'm on a Coke kick

Kristin Wood  
I'm on a cookies, graham crackers, sweet kick just in general.

Ralph Andracchio  
I'm not. I'm not drinking it constantly, but I'll have like at least one glass a day. And now I'm getting to the point where I'm like I should really quit this for a little while so I'm coming out the other end 

Kristin Wood  
I don't ever drink Coke so. Special little treat with my special friend

Ralph Andracchio  
Oh, that's adorable. It's a it's a special treat day. And it's also very nice because it's not as hot as it usually is. It's wonderful. The birds are singing there's not a cloud in the sky. They're not bursting into flames.

Kristin Wood  
This is a good day to go to the zoo, because the animals are not angry. 

Ralph Andracchio  
That's a great point. 

Kristin Wood  
When the when that's come up a couple times over the summer. I've gone to the Zoo like oh the animals are pissed. Right now it's 100 degrees. We'll be pissed, the animals be pissed. They're not coming out. They're pretty much giving us the finger, today they might be smiling

Ralph Andracchio  
That's actually interesting. I had this conversation with a few people over the weekend about zoos and their love and or hate of them. 

Kristin Wood  
Yeah, I was thinking about that as I brought it up.

Ralph Andracchio  
I'm I'm I mean I'm kind of like the more the bigger well run zoos, I think do more good than harm. I mean, especially the ones that are about conservation and like, you know replenishing endangered species and like studying animals and like that kind of stuff. I think that's great. I think so, well Philadelphia has the oldest city in the country

Kristin Wood  
I didn't know that. Fun fact I should have known a long time ago 

Ralph Andracchio  
but oh, lotta old stuff here in the city. I'm one of them. I'm one of the old things here in the city. But no, I think I mean, there are some terrible zoos that do not do a great job. I think the idea of zoos in in general is outdated and we don't need them anymore. There's different ways to take care of animals that are not as what do you what do you call it? Limiting restricting morally questionable? Yeah. So yeah, I mean, I think though in general any, any organization that helps with the conservation of wildlife and, you know, endangered species and stuff like that, that's, that's a good thing.

Kristin Wood  
We should all just go on safari and then yeah, we all have 20 or 30,000 dollars to go to Africa. I have to tell you something off topic. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Oh, yeah, please, 

Kristin Wood  
I have that thing over my head now. Right? Isn't that what you had weeks and weeks ago? The little circle with a little thing.

Ralph Andracchio  
I don't know what that's called. Yeah. Anyway, sorry.

Kristin Wood  
Like it's your turn. Now. I can't

Ralph Andracchio  
look away. Don't look directly into the circle. I do have an unnatural fear of hippopotami Hippopotamuses. I don't know. If they are very angry, dangerous animals. Have you seen videos of them like attacking boats and stuff? They can.

Kristin Wood  
I've heard this is the thing.

Ralph Andracchio  
They can move really quickly. And they are like the size of a school bus. So and they're angry. So no, thank you. No thank you.

Kristin Wood  
Yeah, I've heard that. They are. The problem is for many of us is that when I seen a hippopotamus, it's been at the zoo. They've been in there, muddy water thing, whatever that is. And they're it's just their head at the top of the water. I don't think I even know how big they really are. They're mellow as hell

Ralph Andracchio  
well because they have all the food they want and a nice little enclosure to sleep in. But they can get nasty.

Kristin Wood  
I believe you. I'm just telling you that like I don't associate it. Even though I know that I've never seen that.

Ralph Andracchio  
Just Just stay away. Just say no. Just say no to hippapotamus.

Kristin Wood  
If we ever go to the zoo. I will understand if you want to bypass the hippo.

Ralph Andracchio  
I will. We should do a live show from the zoo and just run quickly fast. Oh, have you really hippopotamus enclosure. Oh boy. So today, something I brought this topic up because I've been seeing it in the news a lot, especially over the past week, like over the past seven days. Somebody it happens like somebody writes an article about something and then since there's a 24 hour news cycle in this country, now I gotta find something to fill. That's airtime. So all the news channels picked it up and now everybody's running with it. And it's getting, it's like getting on my nerves and I want to I want to get all the poison out and talk about it. So that way I feel better.

Kristin Wood  
Ralph's gonna have a therapy session around our topic today. It's a double whammy.

Ralph Andracchio  
It's another therapy session for me. This one is all about quiet quitting. And you wouldn't be forgiven for not knowing what quiet quitting is because, number one, it's a new term, new way we don't like that we don't like number two, it's a misnomer. It's it's a terribly named phenomena. And it's not even a phenomena. It's not new. It's just it's it's people it's self care. It's quitting and it's not quitting at all before taking care of so. So anyway, just to give a little bit of backstory about what quiet quitting is. It's the basic like in a nutshell definition is when somebody does the bare minimum at work. They do what they were hired to do for the for the pay, they were hired to be paid. And they don't necessarily go above and beyond to like run themselves ragged doing a job where they just like forget about their personal life and their family and you know everything else it's people that do their job, and then they go home and they they prioritize their personal life and their relationships above their job. That's basically what quiet quitting is. So you can see how I'm I'm annoyed by the name.

Kristin Wood  
I'm annoyed about the whole thing already just talking to you today about it. No it's getting more and more fired up.

Ralph Andracchio  
What what what is your initial reaction to?

Kristin Wood  
Well, first of all I have to clarify. So I did not know about this. I limit news probably too much.

Ralph Andracchio  
To your benefit.

Kristin Wood  
People are still doing their job. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Yes, 

Kristin Wood  
they just might not be taking on all the extra stuff, staying all the extra hours. So they do there. They are fulfilling their job responsibilities. They're just not working a bazillion hours a week and taking on added stuff that they're not being paid to do. So it's okay. Um,

Ralph Andracchio  
so basically, they're doing their job.

Kristin Wood  
Right. I think what pisses me off about the whole thing already, is that you and I have already discussed that this is to us and I think too many an example of self care and boundaries, which is something I definitely preach and I think you as well, absolutely. And of course our society has to give it a negative term, right, taking care of yourself. Always had... oh boy see now you got me. You got me going I have to watch I don't curse. As soon as we want to take care of ourselves or put ourselves maybe our families first there's a negative something to it. You're being selfish, you're being lazy, you're being whatever you're being and that that the term I think, makes me want to Yeah,

Ralph Andracchio  
because it I think the term is coming from the and I may be wrong about this, because this is a new term for me, too. I just heard the past week. But I think the term sounds like it's coming from the corporate business side of it and not the employee side of it, right? Because, of course, if you're running a business and your business model is dependent on your team members, doing extra work, staying longer hours going above and beyond what they were contracted to do for you and going above their pay grade to do stuff sometimes doing the work of two or three people. You of course, would see that as quitting. If somebody was like, No, I'm just gonna do what I was contracted to do. So of course, if you're a business you would be pissed about this and you know, want to put a negative spin on it. But it's it like you said it's, it's not a phenomena. It's not new. It's people waking up and it has to do with you mentioned I think, right before we started recording, it has to do I think a lot with the pandemic kick starting this idea of wow, you know, I can work from home, I can get my work done. I don't need somebody watching over my shoulder 24 hours a day. I can, you know, have a work life balance that works for me, I can do all these things that make me happy and centered and you know, take care of myself. And so now that that everybody's kind of getting back into going back into work, or like everything's kind of returning to some semblance of what it was before, which I don't think is completely possible. They're carrying with them that idea of you know, no, I'm not going to do all this extra stuff, because look, I showed you that I can do all this stuff and still have a balance and like live my life and see my family and pet my dog and go, you know, go on vacation. I don't I'm not gonna do all this extra work.

Kristin Wood  
Yeah, and I think I had that I think it went away for a minute.

Ralph Andracchio  
The train... we missed the train again. This is early. we're only 11 minutes in.

Kristin Wood  
No, but what I was thinking is it's not just that... come on, come back. We are recording.

Kristin Wood  
It's it's the people are like, Oh, hey, there's my kid. Look what they're doing. Oh, hey, I'm playing basketball. It's just the values are shifting for people slowly. But I think more significantly than maybe we noticed is that I mean I think of like silly examples of celebrities even talking about it, that were forced to go home just because they watched the television. But just right when it was all happening and they be like, I haven't stopped and been home this long. You know, and this relayed this to anyone. I don't know why I'm bringing this part but like, I haven't stopped I haven't spent this much time and as much as that was challenging for families, of course, being maybe too much time. At the same time. I think parents realize stuff they were missing. They realized they were happier for some people to be able to be at home more and realize they could get their job done in a shorter amount of time. And I just think what's important, has shifted. And I think that yeah, the companies aren't going to like that. And when you start I say this to my clients all the time. You know, if you go in and you set an expectation that you're going to work way more hours and you are hired to work and you're going to take on extra work and never say no, then that's what everyone around you is going to expect you to do. And if you work within a culture where that's been the case, and now you say hey, no, I'm not doing that anymore. People that's where we probably got this negative term. And people don't like it because now they have to evaluate their entire structure, their workforce there, blah, blah, blah, and they're not there. They may have to end up paying more.

Ralph Andracchio  
That's the big thing. And I think this ties into a lot of the unionization that's going on to like with Amazon and with Starbucks. People are starting to unionize because they realize the workers have been taken, taken advantage of for a long time and I think the past couple of years have ignited something that kind of went to sleep for a while in the workforce because unions used to be a huge thing. But they have they have union. People belonging to unions has gone way too. Union membership has gone way down. But now it's starting to research again because people realize they're necessary because if you don't have that, you know collective bargaining. These companies are going to work you harder, they're going to hire less people and have everybody do twice the work for the same pay and it's I'm glad to see that people are starting to say no, I'm not going to do that. It's it's ridiculous that the companies have gotten used to it at this point of saying you know, oh, we're gonna hire you for X amount of dollars a year and you're gonna do this your job responsibilities. And then you start and then they're like, oh, by the way, we're going to you know, give this to

Kristin Wood  
your assigned responsibilities. It's always in the job description, right? Yeah. At the very bottom in tiny print

Ralph Andracchio  
Oh, yeah. Oh my god. And if I've been listening to stuff about like, when people are looking for jobs, one of the biggest things is like, we're like a family here. Oh, this this job is like family. We're all family here where we have so much fun. We work late. We work on the weekends and like because we're a family we have fun. run the other way. If you see a job description like that, that is not the truth. That is them saying we're going to pay you X amount of dollars, but you're going to work a lot more. And you're going to be in here a lot. You're going to work overtime and you're not going to be compensated for any of that extra energy. run the other way. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Kristin Wood  
I mean, the good side to this as I calmed down a little bit from the inital few minutes of our reording.

Ralph Andracchio  
You need to take a break, you'd walk around outside for a minute.

Kristin Wood  
No. The thing is, is that this is a thing. Like I love it. This is a thing that is so encouraging for what I believe in, and what I talk to my clients to try to help them do all the time. And I've seen it I'm thinking of a client right now I've seen what can happen to a person when they get out of an ugly work environment and into a wonderful one and have that balance. I have seen the transformation in people and it's can be very significant. And you know, I people often like we've talked about in other episodes, equated it to being selfish and being lazy. Oh, I'm gonna get fired and to know that there actually is a term because that many people are saying no, yeah. No, that's not true. I know. Because whatever, whatever. It's like one good. There's always something that that comes out of something bad and maybe this is one good thing that's come out of COVID is on so many levels. Recognizing Life is short for those of you who have lost people or people have almost you've almost lost people people have gotten very sick. You know, missing out all the missing out all the FOMO wasn't really FOMO because there's nothing going on. It will be like just no just missing out i'll just milk but like think about all the things that people couldn't do the basics such as seeing your family, right? Or but we couldn't gather we couldn't go to a graduation. We couldn't visit a sick one in the hospital. Like we couldn't do all these things and when I think when that was all taken from us, it really this is that like long term effects of COVID that I don't think is a bad one. Yeah, this is a positive long term effect that biggest thing I can say about it is when we talked so much about it forced us to slow down. And I think this is what we're seeing as one of the results of that slowdown.

Ralph Andracchio  
And to put it in terms of generations and generational shift. I think it started with Gen X i say that just because I am Gen X and we were we were the first to cool generation. I think it started with Gen X where we started to reevaluate and question the setup of you know, you find a job you get a career you find a job you find a company that you want to work for you put your blood sweat and tears into wet you climb up the ladder, you know, you end up in middle management or maybe go a little bit higher and then you work there for 40 years and then you retire and you get your watch and your pension like that's the thing we all kind of grew up hearing of like that's what jobs are. That's what work is you find a place you like you find a career and you stick with it until you're you know, 60 and then you retire and then you have fun and live off your pension. And then I think starting with Gen X and later we were all like why? Why do we need to do that?

Kristin Wood  
By the time you get to that

Ralph Andracchio  
I was taught I remember when I was finding jobs I was taught it's a bad thing that job hop you know you don't you want to find a job one job and stick with it even if you don't like it because it looks bad on your resume. You have a bunch of jobs that you do, and now not so much now it's like people are much more comfortable. You know, jumping, not jumping from job to job because that still has a negative connotation but like trying out a few things so they find something that's that they enjoy doing. And I think from that also sprung questioning why do we need to run ourselves into the ground for this job? And like, forget about like we have we have a partner we have a house we have a family we have pets we have this life that we want to live outside of work. Why why is it the role that we need to you know, put our job first and our career first? Why that and I think now all of that questioning that the these younger generations have been doing is finally starting to come to fruition and it's come it's you know, I think this quiet quitting bowl is starting to be like to push back by the company saying Oh, you're well you're really just quitting if you're not. If you're not going above and beyond you really you might as well just quit and find another job. No,

Kristin Wood  
I should have my brother-in-law sitting here with us right now and he's like a prime example. Not exactly quiet quitting. Loud qutting I guess

Ralph Andracchio  
Boisterous quitting. 

Kristin Wood  
Yeah he resigned from what he had been doing and is now doing his own thing. And I won't talk too much his personal business but he's doing his own stuff. And let me tell you what, I've never seen him so happy in the 25 years. I've known him. He is traveling. He is spending more time with his family. He's so much happier because I think he put himself and everything else ahead of it and I still meet he's still making money. He's still definitely making money. And but he's enjoying it, enjoying what he's doing. And I think if you're miserable in that job for 45 years, then you finally get to that pension and you're like old and you're just can't even like do half the stuff that you missed out on doing anymore. And then if you do that you don't even know this happens to so many of our parents. Like if all they did was work because that was very much just like their generation you go to work you provide for the family and and and some people spent more time than others at work but a lot of the men started typically at least in a two parent home would would be at work all the time. And then they get to that place where they're forced to retire or whatever that pension or whatever they're working for. And then they're like, I don't know what the hell to do with myself. Because it was it was the family work, family and work and there was like no room for them for doing their own things. No room for other interests. And then when it's gone, they don't even have any of that like everyone I'm not trying to generalize but for a lot of people that happens and then they don't even know and so why don't we wait that long? Why would we stay in a situation today anyway, where you're seeing all this stuff fly by you and you're missing it?

Ralph Andracchio  
And I think there's an aspect to this of the workforce, the individual worker finally embracing how much power they really have. Yes, there's a lot we bring a lot of value as an employee to the business. I mean, think about it. If the business didn't have employees, you don't have business, right? You need people to work there. And the more people that are in the workforce saying no, my time is valuable, my energy, my the the all the energy I'm putting into this position has value and if you want me to put more of my time and energy into this, you need to compensate me for it. Because that's more than I contracted for so I am not going to do that. And if you're out there struggling with something like this, you're at a job where they're asking you to do a whole bunch of stuff that isn't in your job description and they're not compensating you for it for your for it. And you're like I'm just gonna do the bare minimum. That's okay. That's you saying I'm gonna take care of myself and not run myself into the ground for a company that doesn't appreciate my time and effort and compensate me for it. So that's why that's what aggravates me the most about this quiet quitting thing. You're not quitting. It's this weird it's a deflection the way they the way they named it. It's smart. It's brilliant, the way they they they named it, but that name is is doing the polar opposite of what right? They make it sound like you're doing something wrong and you're not. It's self care. You're setting up a healthy boundary. And you're saying to your company, I am doing the work I was contracted to do at the pay rate I was contracted to be paid at if you want me to do more we can sit down and discuss what that would look like. It's not quitting it's it's being smart.

Kristin Wood  
So I'm sorry. I'm still like processing this because I know and now I am. I feel happy about it. But yet I feel angry about it with like the name and just what it says because there's so many soapboxes, I get on around self care, selfish versus selfless, which we've,

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah we've talked about, that's what this shows all about

Kristin Wood  
is just like a second somebody wants to do something that's good for themselves. Somebody has to label it something. The second something doesn't have a monetary value, or a concrete way to assess its value. It's not valuable, and that drives me bananas. Yeah, it does. It really drives me bananas. And I think it's it's so ingrained

Ralph Andracchio  
that's what it is. You hit the nail on the head. It's we're so used to it. It's ingrained in the fabric of at least this country. Again, I can't speak for any other countries in the world, but America, it's ingrained in the fabric of this country, like this capitalistic bowl of you know, you gotta run yourself into the ground. At your job. It's got to take over your life and you know, it's got you got to eat, sleep and breathe this job and go above and beyond. So one day hopefully management will recognize all this hard work you're doing and throw you an extra couple bucks. You know, it's just it's it's like nails on a chalkboard for me when I when I think about it, like there's other countries that do it differently. People are happier because they realize if your workforce is happy and they have a balance in their life, they are just naturally going to want to put more effort into their job because they enjoy it fits into their life. It's something they enjoy doing. And it's like and it's like stuff I've talked about before of like, job career calling, you know, it's okay if you have a job that pays your bills, and that's the only reason you have it. That's okay. If you if your priorities are I want to live my life and do fun stuff and hang out with my family and my friends and everything. And this job just pays my bills. Great. That's totally valid. Do that. And if you're, if you're not, if they're making you work harder, and you feel like you need to be compensated more speak up and say that

Kristin Wood  
yeah

Ralph Andracchio  
It a lot a lot of layers it's a job onion it's a career onion we're biting into today.

Kristin Wood  
Yeah. Oh, I was gonna say siesta. I got my head Yes. Yes. There's the value that that time that break

Ralph Andracchio  
and it's a cultural thing everybody takes a rest in the middle of the day.

Kristin Wood  
No one questions it - Oh I know what I was gonna say to was like, the other thing is, is that the mentality around work right? Of Work, work, work, work, work. Don't worry about if you've eaten or how much sleep you had or whatever. Yes, work as hard as possible. It then leaks into home. That's what I see all the time. So then what what's happening now and I don't think it's just what I'm saying. Is it's people sometimes having trouble slowing down and relaxing within their own home that feel so they go to work, they bust their behind. And then they come home and they some people just have so much on their plate at home that they have to but then there's other people that put pressure on themselves and even those that have have to put more have to spend they have to guess what happens? So then it's like if I don't check this many things off my to do list or I don't finish and fold all this laundry before bed, then I'm not being productive, then I'm being lazy. So even within our own homes, in our personal lives, this mentality follows us and not everyone. Some people are very good at relaxing and separating, but I happen to work with a lot of people that have a hard time with just doing nothing with not scratching everything off their personal to do list and being able to just sit and veg on the couch or being able to say no to friends because they're tired that day. That mentality leaks into personal and then it's a double whammy to try to deal with it.

Ralph Andracchio  
And I read another article and this this topic has its fingers and a bunch of different things we could talk about but this has popped into my head while you were talking about internships of like, it starts like these mega companies have these unpaid internships starts there. Like don't oh, we're not going to pay you. Your payment is knowledge. Your payment is getting to spend your time it's getting to work here that your payment. It starts with that kind of bowl of like, oh, I need to do this unpaid internship. To get my foot in the door to learn from people to show my face. So I'm going to please stop doing that companies. I know no company is going to list them. They're like, hey, Ralph said we shouldn't do on. Board of Directors, we said we should stop doing it. I agree with them all in favor. Why he kicked me out for i Sorry, what happened? But and think about how very exclusive that is to because if you're not if you're I mean, if you're not a white guy. Unpaid internships are bull because you're not they're not going to ask you that. They're not going to like it's who you know, it's like how connected you are in the industry and the company that Oh, my dad knows these people's dads and we're gonna like, so it's even then just like on a gender race kind of level. It's all bowl to begin with. So and then it just goes from there of like, you should be appreciated that you have this job, you know, and then it goes to like, Oh, if you all you do is work at McDonald's or CVS for the rest of your life. Where's your initiative? Where's your drive where, you know, why don't you want to make something out of yourself? Knock that noise off immediately as well? Because compared to who What are you talking about whose drive to do what where? Because that's, that may be what you want to do. And that may be your outlook. On what jobs and careers are. But that person working in McDonald's or CVS may be very happy. Yeah, they have. They're making money there. I mean, especially McDonald's, you're eating some delicious food. You know, I really, I Wanna eat at McDonald's so bad.

Kristin Wood  
I have not had McDonalds in so long. I haven't had it in years.

Ralph Andracchio  
Dan needs to remind me we haven't eaten fast food for over a little over a decade and if we ate it now we would probably be very sick. Because we haven't... we're just

Kristin Wood  
I was just gonna say should we designate a day but I don't like we'd have to like eat it and all go home to the bathroom.

Ralph Andracchio  
No offense. to McDonald's. If your body's not used to it, it definitely it's a shock but it is delicious. My my jam was like the regular hamburger from McDonald's, a small fry and a small Coke.

Kristin Wood  
I'm with you the except the fry I go as big as it goes. The bigger the super size. Whatever the hell they do to it. I just say give me the biggest one you have because I don't know the lingo. If I if I went in there right now, I wouldn't know what to do. They like okay, you got the record number do you want I just want to know how it happened to me the last just once in a while I would I would go in and I like the cheeseburger but the biggest fry and then maybe sort of whatever. And I go in there and there's like a million options and things I never even heard of are on there. And I was like, I don't even know how to do this anymore.

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, it's it can be very confusing. 

Kristin Wood  
Unless you go in all the time and then you know the deal.

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, right, exactly. But anyway, we got off on a tangent because it's delicious tangent. But if if that's your jam, like I if I could make it work. I would love to go back and work in retail. I would love I love I had so much fun working I worked at Urban Outfitters for a while I loved it. I worked at a movie theater for four years. I love that. It was like a we had so much fun. It was a fun job. We got to do fun things and like, yeah, The pay wasn't great. I was like I was paying my bill was and I was having fun. I was like sure if I can make that work and I absolutely do that again. So it's like, I've never been that person who wants to work for a fortune 500 company and like become the CEO and they did. That's somebody else's dream. That's No, no, I mean, I've always been I've always had very interesting jobs that are not kind of like they're not gonna lead to me owning a yacht

Kristin Wood  
We're not exactly in a high paying business.

Ralph Andracchio  
But it's and that's why I bring it up. It's like, if it speaks to you when you're doing something that it's like, Hey, this is paying the bills. I don't hate it. It's fine. I get to go home and do fun stuff. Like, that's great. If somebody says, Oh, where's your initiative? Where's your drive? Where's your drive? Like, what do you who do who compared to who? Who's drive What are you talking about? Like, leave me alone.

Kristin Wood  
I could go off so I'll be quiet because I could go I will go off topic where I just, I can't stand people that judge other people for their careers and think they're better than them. But I can get very heated.

Ralph Andracchio  
That's yeah, stop doing that too. And comparing yourself to other people as well because it's very easy. If you have a job like that like a retail job or something where it's not like you wear a suit to work every day and carry a briefcase. It's very easy to get down on yourself and say oh, and you know, look at look at that person. They must have a really great life. You have a really great life too. I'm sure.

Kristin Wood  
Yeah I'm never wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase.

Ralph Andracchio  
I look I mean I look good in a suit. I look good. 

Kristin Wood  
I'm sure. Your face. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Would I want to wear one every day. It's special occasion.

Kristin Wood  
No briefcase for me.

Ralph Andracchio  
No briefcase. No, that's yeah. I mean, again, if you have that job and you wear a suit, and you're good, and you like it great. It's all what's good for you as a human being.

Kristin Wood  
I don't think anyone really loves wearing a suit if especially if they wear it every day. I don't I've never heard a man say I can't wait to wear the suit unless it's to like a fun thing. Maybe then they're like Sure. Yeah, but like I saw guy in a suit. One day out on like Broad Street, and it was so hot. And I'm wearing like a dress like this. And I'm sweltering and I was looking at that guy and I was feeling really bad for him. I was like he must be dying.

Ralph Andracchio  
I yeah, I was walking around in that heat wave in shorts and a tank top and I see people wearing long pants or god forbid a suit and I'm like, I was like how are you not dying in that suit? Anyway, yeah, it it's it's I think quiet quitting should really be called self care and healthy boundaries. I know it's a little longer, but that's what it really is. It's it's acknowledging like, this is my pay rate. This is what I was hired to do. And that's what I'm gonna do. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I mean, if I ran a business, and I hired somebody and I said, Here's your list of responsibilities, here's what the you know, the fee we agreed on to be paid. That's, you know, if somebody was starting to do more, I wouldn't expect that I would say, Oh, you're doing a lot of extra stuff. I think that would be my first need to be both. I do a lot of extra stuff for you and have to do that. But I wouldn't be the kind of person that like squeezes every last drop of energy and value out of an employee. And like leave it desiccated husk behind, you know,

Kristin Wood  
I just thought of something. I think that the people that name this quiet quitting. Not only is it terrible, but they did it on purpose because think about how hard it is to say quite quitting, quite quitting. Like if you try to say it fast, it's actually kind of hard to say. And I think I am going on a funny tangent but I'm like yeah, I'm like maybe that's why they named it that because it's hard to say so don't do it. 

Ralph Andracchio  
Toy boat Toy boat, toy boat. Red leather, yellow leather. Yeah, it's a tongue twister.

Kristin Wood  
We're having fun on a very controvertial topic today.

Ralph Andracchio  
It's a dumb It's so dumb ugh stop stop. 

Kristin Wood  
So that's what we're gonna title this Quiet Quitting, It's So Dumb.

Ralph Andracchio  
It's so dumb. That's what we're gonna name this one. The dumb topic of quiet quitting. It's,...

Kristin Wood  
I know we say all the time. I would really love whoever is listening. Please write this is a new thing to me. And I think to a lot of people this so this is something I loved. All topics of thought for us to continue with this sounds like something that says particularly newish for people to like, tell us your thoughts tell us if you think we're two idiots saying dumb stuff. We don't care. 

Ralph Andracchio  
That was gonna be our original name for the show Two Idiots Saying Dumb Stuff. Who gave these two idiots a show?

Kristin Wood  
But no, I I know we said all the time saying it again. And if you don't want to email us, heyletmeaskyousomething@gmail. We're on Facebook, send us a message whatever because this is I don't know I just have a feeling people can have a strong reaction about this but we welcome it as I say, as we say most times are lots of times please please please don't keep your mouth shut

Ralph Andracchio  
right speak up. Let us know. Yeah, I think at the end of the day, I think what I love everybody to walk away from this is with from what I would like people to walk away from this with is man English is terrible. It's a bad language. Believe in yourself and stick up for yourself advocate for yourself and you know advocate for what you're worth your time and energy is worth something. And you need to be compensated fully for the energy and time you put into work no matter what that work is. And if you're if your job or your manager is like constantly asking you to come in late, asking you to cover other people's shifts, asking you the lake. Oh, you got to order if you want to take time off and do something Oh, you got to cover your shift. You got to find somebody that's their responsibility, not yours. Like know what your responsibility is as an employee. And one of them is definitely not covering your shit like if you're if you've taken time off or something you deserve time off to live your life. They need to cover it not you.

Kristin Wood  
I know that I was just gonna say no one's gonna do it for you. Because I've said before. Once in a while you have a good gem like Ralph was saying if he was running a company saw someone running themselves ragged that he and I because of just our nature not that we're better than anyone else would we will be like, Oh, what are you okay? Yeah, but most people won't. And if you don't speak up for yourself, nothing's gonna happen.

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah. Companies are not gonna go above and beyond for you. Oh, that's a great thing. Companies are not gonna go above and beyond. Why are you Why do you go above and beyond for the right like, yeah, most some sound do I can I can't generalize. Some companies are really good about that. They do take care of their employees. But if you're in a place that doesn't, and just in general, like, again, like you said, advocate for yourself, because nobody is going to step in and do that for you. Kind of I blew myself out early. I tired myself out. 

Kristin Wood  
Ralph do you feel better about this? 

Ralph Andracchio  
I do feel a lot better. I got it all out of my system.

Kristin Wood  
I feel better and I'm glad I know this. I'm gonna keep keep an eye on this piece.

Ralph Andracchio  
Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna keep an eye out to and if if it comes up where we can have somebody on next. Next session next episode. Thank you. I couldn't... Thank you. My brain was holding on to that one. If I can find someone who can talk more about this. We'll have one next week and we can end this season. Next next show is the last one then we go on vacation for a little bit. 

Kristin Wood  
Going on vacation. I'm not going anywhere.

Ralph Andracchio  
Taking care of ourselves and setting boundaries. Cool. So as always like Kristin said, you can always find us on email. Send us an email. heyletmeaskyousomething@gmail.com We're on Facebook. We're on Instagram. I'm on Tik Tok. So you can look for me there. You have your website. I'll put all this stuff up in the show notes so you can find us. Cool. Thank you. Alright, have a good weekend. And we'll see you next time. Bye.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai